I went to get my lunch out of the freezer and decided I am not going to go to the grocery store to get Lean Cuisine’s for the week. I am just going to eat the abandoned Lean Cuisine’s in the freezer. After looking at them I know at least a couple of them are mine anyway. That way Linda won’t have another heart attack when she gets back.
I went to get my lunch out of the freezer and decided I am not going to go to the grocery store to get Lean Cuisine’s for the week. I am just going to eat the abandoned Lean Cuisine’s in the freezer. After looking at them I know at least a couple of them are mine anyway. That way Linda won’t have another heart attack when she gets back.
This morning on my way to work I stopped at the grocery store to buy some Lean Cuisines to get me through the rest of the week for lunch.
Well, during my lunch I heated my tv dinner and ate it in my office with the door shut.
I could hear the boss, Linda freaking out to the Office Manager about the condition of the freezer in the break room.
She was astounded by the amount of Lean Cuisine’s being stored in there and thought it ridiculous that someone was using the freezer for their own personal storage.
3 of those Lean Cuisines were mine. There were probably at least 4 or five more in there.
I had a good laugh to myself because Linda goes on vaction tomorrow for 12 days and I am amazed by the fact that this is her main concern. This is the fire she needs to put out before she goes. So she assigned the Office Manager the duty of investigating and clearing up this problem.
2006 was a bad year for me to say the least. I’ll spare you the details for now. Eating has always been an "addiction" of mine that I finally got some control of about 4 years ago.
Well, since I was under a lot of stress and dealing with a lot of emotion in ‘06, I went back to my good old security blanket: eating. As a result I have put on over 20-25 pounds since last January
It’s January 2006 and I’ve decided that it’s time to get back the control once and for all. Not only do I plan to lose the 25 that I gained, but I plan to lose a total of 30 (at least) and really maintain a healthy weight. I know it’s a lofty goal, but I an not getting any younger and I need to think about my health, not just looking hot. Although that’s definitely a plus though.
I was with friends in kansas City over New Years. We camped out in the living room and watched Oprah’s 20th anniversay dvd collection. One of the dvds was exclusively about weight loss and healthy eating. I was so excited to watch it because I thought I would really get something out of it.
In one segment Oprah talked about her ups and downs with weight loss and that she now knows she will not gain weight back. She said she finally discovered what she needed to do. What’s that secret? LOVE YOURSELF. What the hell does that mean?
I got so mad. So her weight loss has nothing to do with the fact that she has a personal trainer probably 4 hours a day. That she has a private chef who can make beets taste like chocolate. I think that probably has more to do with it than loving herself. UGH.
How would you like a humpy-humpy standing in your doorway staring at you like you were a caged animal at a zoo?
My assistant apparently had a question for me or something. She stood in my doorway without saying a word and just stared at me.
I pretended like I didn’t see her and kept typing at my computer because I wanted to see how long until she knocked or said something (like a normal person with basic social skills).
She eventually just left after several minutes.
I was so mad. I should have shit in my hand and thrown it at her like a mad ape.
I was so upset at last nights episode of Project Runway. I was so ticked off when they all stabbed Chloe in the back and said she should be eliminated. WTF? Kara and Daniel were whining about Santino the entire episode and then all of a sudden they turned on Chloe. I assume this happened for 2 reasons. She was the easiest one for them to pick because she made the comment "I don’t know if I really want this" which appears to have been said in the heat of stress. I imigine Daniel and Kara thought that perhaps this made them more entitled to the winning spot since they wanted it "more."
Daniel even elaborated and said that Chloe didn’t need it because she had an established business. Just because she had the ambition and drive to start her own business? WTF?
I imagine that Daniel and Kara knew that Santino wasn’t going to get cut because his was the only dress that was weird so it would likely be one of the other three, and since Santino voted for Chloe they would create a unanimous vote which would surely get rid of her and not them.
I was rooting for Daniel, but now I am voting for Chloe. I saw all there stuff from Olympus Fashion Week. Her stuff was by far the best, so Daniel and Santino, EFF off. Plus she’s got the most fabulous model
It was nasty outside today, so I didn’t want to leave the office for lunch. I dug throw my office drawers digging for my emergency lunch stash. I decided to cook up some crappy Campbell’s chunky soup in the microwave. I always forget that our microwave gets way too hot. So I set the time for 2 and a half minutes. I open the door to stir it and mid-stir it just exploded everywhere. All over my top, my pants, the counter, entirely everywhere in the microwave and my hands. my fingers and wrist is still burning.
I wanna sue Campbells like that bitch who sued McDontals for the pippin hot coffee.
I got a ticket this morning. Driving to work, minding my own God-damned business. I was turning left at an intersection.
Next thing I know a police-dyke is giving me a ticket. Apparently you can’t turn left there.
I told that bitch to have a "BLESSED weekend." She knew I was being snide.
I hope some crack whore pokes her with a dirty needle today.
At least we have a pizza party for me to look forward this afternoon at work. I am gonna eat the FUCK out of that party.
So this evening I decided to make a cake to take to work tomorrow. I rummaged through my cupboard and saw the Bisquik box. I never noticed CAKE recipes on the side panel before. Next thing you know I am making a velvet crumb cake.
I take it out of the oven and instead of smelling delicious cake all I smell is rank. Like a dirty belly button. Of course I had to lean in and get a better sniff. Oh yeah, that’s bad. So bad in fact that I found myself leaning over in my very own kitchen, gagging and trying to hold back the puke. Last night I want to be doing on a Thursday night is to be cleaning up my own vomit off my kitchen floor.
So into the garbage that cake went. Suddenly EVERYTHING smelled that way. "Great," I thought, "Now this smell is stuck up in me."
A good half hour later the smell was gone, so I returned to the kitchen to clean up. I looked at the Bisquik box and see that it expired in 2003!
I know I’m nuts, but I had to lean into the garbage to smell that cake one more time. It was so disgusting it was intriguing.
Now I have a headache from all the gagging and nothing to bring to work tomorrow.
